Ron Weasley's Secret Diary: Year 1
by flobby wobby worm
Summary: Did you ever wonder what Ron's POV was in the first book? then read this. Actually, read it anyway! In this, Ron is always always right. he is infallible. he is the man! Ron rules! well, he should! Rupert does! r/r!


A/N: Hi! This idea came to me in a dream [beat that Trelawny!] I was having a very strange dream, when all of a sudden Rupert Grint replaced Harry writing in a very battered diary. And I came up with this. Sorry. Oh, and BTW, my other fic will be updated soon. Sorry for the delay, only my computer crashed, and my files were wiped.

Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns all these characters [lucky, lucky, her] also, I am 100% sure that someone else has already thought of this fic, so to them I say; you share my genius.

1st Sept.

Started school today. I got nothing new. It's not fair! I had no sweets, no new robes [by the way, how come Percy got new robes and I got stuck with hand-me-downs and Charlie's wand. Just cos he's a prefect] and to top it all off, I had corn beef sandwiches. CORN BEEF!! Honestly, has the woman not realized that I don't LIKE corn beef? Anyway, the day started of normally. I beat Fred and George in the see-how-many-rasher-sandwiches-you-can-eat competition. The journey to the station was cool, cos this time I was getting on the train. A kid dressed in several circus tents asked mum how to get on the platform. Speaking of mum, she made a right show of me. Who cares if my nose is dirty? Fred and George said Mr. Circus Tents was actually Harry Potter! This made me laugh, cos they were obviously lying. Mum told them not to ask him about You-Know-Who, but Ginny went crazy. She jumped up and down and begged to get on the train [for a change. That was me being sarcastic btw.]. I looked around the place for a bit, while the twins talked to mum about toilet seats. As usual, it was me who couldn't find a seat. Eventually, I found a seat beside "Harry" in the last compartment. I felt like a right idiot when he showed me his scar. I had been sitting beside Harry Potter the whole time [well, about 5 minutes!] he bought about a million sweets and shared them with me. Take that corn beef sandwiches! Anyway, I showed him Scabbers. He pretended not to think he was pathetic. Well, _I_ thought he was pretending. A girl came into the compartment asking about Neville the toad or something, while I was trying to show Harry the spell Fred and George showed me to turn Scabbers yellow. Of course it was a dud. She was a bit snobby, and I pretended not to like her [between you and me, she didn't look too bad, though her hair was a bit frizzy]. Draco Malfoy came in, with two boulder-people beside him, and threw their rather formidable weight around, but Scabbers the wonder rat gave one of them a bite on the finger. I was a bit nervous at the sorting, but I got into Gryffindor, thank God. Nothing much else happened, 'cept Harry and me and the train-girl are in Gryffindor, too. Getting kinda tired now, more tomorrow.

P.s.  How come the entire female population cares about the welfare of my nose? McGonagall stared at it and train-girl pointed it out. I mean, come on! It was only a smudge. 

Girls. Go figure.

Sept 2nd 

My new name is "the tall kid with the red hair." At least, that seems to be what every one calls me. Being friends with Harry Potter can have its downsides. I mean, there we are, two first years, obviously lost, and all the bloody idiots around us can bloody think of is a bloody scar on Harry's bloody forehead. Bloody. And another thing, does the rod up Filch's arse have a rod up its arse? How were we supposed to know we were trying to get into the forbidden corridor? It's not like its signposted or anything. We would have been in deep em…excrement if it weren't for Quirrel. I came really close to kicking Mrs. Norris up the arse, but Harry stopped me. Probably a good thing he did. Peeves is just as bad. My nose is bright red [it clashes with my hair] from all the times he's pulled it. At least it's not dirty, anyway. The funniest professor has to be Flitwick. He is so small, and his name promotes hundreds of obscene nicknames. Seamus wants to know what I'm writing in now. Oh, yeah, the train-girls name is Hermione, and she's a swot!

P.S Harry was dead funny this morning as the owls came in! He jumped a mile and his face was priceless! Heh, heh, heh. 

Sept 5th 

Lost my diary . Turns out it was in my Defense Against Dark Arts book. Today was an important day for me and Harry; we finally got down to the Great Hall with out getting lost once. Harry got a letter [and he didn't jump] from Hagrid asking him to go and visit him that evening. I remembered Hagrid from the boats on our first day. I HATE POTIONS. Professor Snape picked on Harry a lot, and he took 2 points from Gryffindor. The worst was, we had DOUBLE potions with the Slytherins! You'll never guess who knew all the answers. That's right, Hermione. And you don't know who snape never picked. Ditto. I had to kick Harry before he said some thing that turned Snape really nasty. After potions, I tried to cheer Harry up and asked to come see Hagrid with him. When he got to his hut, a bloody great dog started licking my ears. Hagrid immediately knew I was a Weasley. Apparently, it's a common affliction. We had tea and rocks that were supposed to be cakes. However, Hagrid shared my view that Filch was" an old git". I spent about half an hour telling Hagrid about Charlie and his dragons. Harry was very preoccupied with some newspaper clipping about the Gringotts robbery. Maybe he's involved in some way. Hmm…

Dunno the date, Thursday 

Started flying lessons today. With the Slytherins [boo]. I told a couple of people about the time I almost hit a handglider on Charlie's old broom. I _may_ have gone on a bit, but I wasn't as bad as Malfoy. Get this: Neville has known he was a wizard all his life, and he's never been on a broom! Although, he has a lot of accidents with both feet on the ground. Speaking of Neville, his gran sent him a remembrall today. Draco gave him some grief over it, and I was all ready to beat him up, when McGonagall came over. Anyway, when we went out flying, my broom hit me in the nose. My nose is getting a lot of attention lately. When we were told to hover, Neville flew of and broke his wrist, the git. Harry chased Malfoy around when the smarmy git took Neville's remembrall. Instead of being expelled, however, Harry got made Gryffindor Seeker! Slightly peeved of at that. Harry walked into a trap, and brought me in too. We were supposed to duel Malfoy, but he had tricked us, and Hermione and Neville followed us. Neville really is a clutz but thanks to Harry we weren't caught [he was the one who yelled RUN]. We made another mistake in running away. That would be we met Peeves and got into the forbidden corridor. I now know why its forbidden, and let me tell you, if any dog needs exercise, that one does! 3 heads! We were all a bit shaken, but _I_ stayed calm. Harry was still preoccupied as we finally went to bed. Maybe he is involved… 

Friday after last Thursday 

Its okay, my best friend is not a bankrobber. He filled me in today at breakfast. You should have seen the look on Malfoy's face when we came into breakfast this morning! Oh, good news, Hermione isn't talking to us. And Harry got a NIMBUS TWO THOUSAND!!! We had fun with Malfoy over that and all. This evening, while he was at training, I had a very deep conversation about why soccer is a waste of time with Dean Thomas. What's the point of a game where no one flies, no one disappears and the posters stay still. Anyway I'm really tired. Bye. Oh my God. I just said goodbye to a diary. Aaaaaaaahhhhh!! 

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thanks to my sister Niamh not only for beta-ing, but also for plugging Timeteam visits Hogwarts on her profile. And now I return the favour because she told me to: Read buckbeakbabie's stories. If you review Love, Life and Sugar Highs, she'll worship you! Honestly! But first, review mine! I'll worship you if I feel like it. Go now. Quickly. Click the little purple button. You have the power!

Shutting up now.


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